Sleeper

I hate Sleeper. He's a middle-aged-going-on-senior homeless man who sleeps in people's doorways and under cars and stuff. One time in the deli across the street I opened the fridge to take out a Vitamin Water and I saw him sleeping on the other side. I got nothing against homeless people--in fact I'm pretty passionate about the issue--but this guy's just a dickwad. Home or no home.

He's been kicked out of the branch by security like a dozen times. There's a No-Trespass order on him. He harasses customers and employees. But he won't go away. I think he's trying to get arrested. Jail's no different than sleeping in the stairwell only it's got better food and some company.

He usually makes bets for other customers too lazy to walk the ten feet to my window. They pay him a few bucks out of their winnings. He steals my tips when they ask him to tip me, but I don't say anything because it's weird asking a guy to tip you. Damn Sleeper. Also, he steals from them when he gets the chance. He's always asking me for quarters, too. That's annoying.
There's a lot of customers I get along with and a lot I don't. A lot of the ones I don't usually have some redeeming qualities. Not Sleeper, though, he's just a homeless dickwad and he makes the job that much more miserable.

You may ask why we put up with customers like this, especially the ones who aren't legally supposed to be there. It's not for their patronage--in Sleeper's case we're much better off without him. But I learned early on it's easier to just take their bets and their money in the ten seconds it takes than to argue with them for ten minutes and then listen to them curse you out for the rest of the shift. It's not exactly turning the other cheek--it's more, rolling your eyes and then taking your frustrations out on a blog nobody reads.

P.S. Late last night I saw a customer picking his nose--really going at it, like up to the knuckle. Later on, when someone asked him how he always wins so much, he said it was luck. "I can't pick horses. I can't even pick my nose." I hope you appreciate the irony as much as I did.